Robin's Bio | Band Bio | Robin's Story

Robin's Story

Where can I draw inspiration from tonight? I've been asked to write my story. I put a CD in the stereo.

Four years old, swinging on a swing, singing about the neighbor's dog, “No Tail,” singing about my day, daydreaming about my life experiences and letting them go, like pink and lavender helium-filled balloons, floating up to billowy white clouds on a backdrop of cornflower-blue velvet.

Couplets became poems, which eventually turned into songs.

Six years old – I wasn't chosen to play The Sleeping Beauty in the class play. I knew I could sing that part better than any girl in the class. I just didn't look the part. Would I ever be pretty enough? Would I ever be good enough?

Merging consciousness and my physical self with my soul; singing and dancing in front of the family record player until I was overheated, sweaty, and exhausted, more than anything I wanted to be a singer.

A different life plan had been mapped out for me – something more traditional, safe, secure, risk-free. Roadblocks. Caught between compliance and rebellion, fear and ambition, silence was my only resolution. I lost my voice, buried deep within my heart.

I still listened. I listened to Laura Nyro, Ricky Lee Jones, James Taylor, Carol King, Bob Dylan, Cat Stevens, Marvin Gaye, tears streaming down my face, churning feelings in my gut, touched by the raw emotion of their heartfelt words and music.

An early marriage, children, divorce, academic and professional pursuits all kept me tied to my roots and yet became the journey to freedom and the rediscovery of my own voice.

Thirty-nine years old, single again, neuropsychologist, head of a psychology department in a head injury rehabilitation hospital, psychology professor, 2 teenaged children, and a ten month old son with no family around. “I know it's too late for me but I always wanted to be a singer. It's now or never. I can't let the lights go out having never tried,” circling thoughts in my head.

Where can I draw inspiration from tonight? I put a CD In the stereo.

Orlando's wind chimes gently tinkle. Paul's piano introduction to What Was On Your Mind, each note carefully chosen and lovingly played, ushers in a welling up of tears, opening up a musical tapestry that Paul and I wove together over four and half years; a reflection of two lives of deeply felt feelings, wide-ranging experiences, hard, down and dirty practice, hours at the piano for Paul – seeking perfection. For me, Robin, there was much work to be done, a lot of catching up to do.

Shaking off shackles of other peoples' notions of a “right life” that bound me to fears and self-doubt, I had to rid myself of voices in my head that laughed at me mockingly, “you want to be a singer?”; voices telling me I shouldn't or I can't; challenges like “you silly girl, why are you wasting your time and money” and others waiting for me to fail and say “I told you so, now come back, behave and let me take care of you”.

Finally Free – can't help but smile. At the end of the day I won't reflect on my life and say “I could have been a singer but no one encouraged me” or “no one helped me” or “no one…”

I am now living my truths, not my fantasies, looking way down deep inside my soul and up to God asking him to show me the way. I left much behind, daring to lose family, friends, money, stature and possessions in the process of finding real love, real family, my self, my own self-respect and my own voice.

Reconnecting with my musical source renewed a child's hope and faith in a better world, a better here and now, and helped me exchange an illusion of security for self-determination, good work, giving, joy in the moment, love, loyalty, commitment, patience, compassion and forgiveness.

Where can I draw inspiration from tonight? So I put a CD in the stereo. Tears are welling up in my eyes – like the Little Girl who had unfulfilled longings. This time they are tears of joy – and the voice I hear is mine.

“We are all Under The Same Sky.”

Much love and many blessings,

Robin